Let’s break a pattern.
Anchoring as a means for pivoting and changing
Ever found yourself frustrated under the same situation, feeling stuck? I’m sure we all have. And I’m sure all of us tend to fall back into the same behaviors and coping mechanisms many times before deciding to make a change.
Well, let’s plan for a change now.
I want you to think of one of those situations and ask yourself these questions:
- Do I know where all my emotions come from?
- Are there interpersonal wounds involved?
- Can I make the change alone or do I need a friend who can help me break this pattern?
Obviously I can’t answer any of these questions for you, but what I can do is encourage you to feel the full depth and breadth of your emotions. Sit with the pain if you have to. Cry if you have to. Acclimate to the pain. Think hard of what you would like to do next time. And be gentle with yourself. One day, perhaps not now, you will not be fazed by this pain you feel.
And it is then when I will ask you: where do you anchor your personality? Can you observe the most outstanding emotions and actions you would like to take? That is your anchor and if these emotions and actions are the same as before, are you willing to pivot and place your anchor upon different actions that might trigger different emotions? If you ask me, that willingness to pivot and actually taking the action and standing by it, albeit temporarily during a testing period, is the recipe for true change.
On interpersonal wounds, this change also requires dealing with the right person which can be a far harder task given you have to find the right person first, then stumble upon the same situation in order to heal the interpersonal wound. But it can be done.
Just don’t give up.
